Archive for August, 2006

Elephants in the Room

Monday, August 21st, 2006

1.) Anyone who lacks the ambition to roll off the couch, brush the potato chip crumbs off their belly, and catch the bus to the local Revenue office to get a photo ID shouldn’t be voting anyway.

2.) Two smart, polished candidates plus national media scrutiny equals the most issues-based Senate campaign we’ve seen in a long time. (And humorless, too: no “macaca” jokes from JMT, no “Dean scream” from Claire.) Facts trump emotion. Yawn. Edge: Talent.

3.) Nobody cares about a state auditor’s race, much less with Talent-McCaskill on the ballot. Desperate for attention and hoping for earned media, auditor campaigns will turn to negative ads that have nothing to do with the auditor’s job.

4.) Thomas campaign: “Wealthy trial lawyer.” Montee campaign: “Blunt-Graves-Thomas.” Edge: Montee.

5.) In a primary, a state party should either get behind one candidate early or stay out of the race. Pretending to be neutral while giving one candidate access to your most valuable resources creates ill will and makes it impossible to unite after the primary.

6.) Though criticized in 2004, Blunt’s HARRIS (to Hell with All Republicans Residing In St. Louis) Plan was ultimately successful, and effectively relieves future statewide Republican candidates of the obligation of having to face the black community.

7.) Question: When does, “I’m not planning on running” sound like, “I’m not running”? Answer: When that’s what you really, really want to hear.

8.) Union members whose jobs require actual skill and a work ethic couldn’t care less about a minimum-wage increase, and why should they?

9.) Elected officials are some of the most egregious users of fake logins and dummy e-mail accounts, and among the sloppiest at covering their tracks (here’s looking at you, state Rep. “Allison Tidwell”!)

10.) The country’s print media institutions, having co-opted the best features of blogs (timeliness, depth of reporting) for their own websites, will seek to portray political bloggers as a bunch of reckless, amateur boobs — and our own behavior this fall (impending libel lawsuits, “pay-to-post” scandals) will prove them right.

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Friday, August 18th, 2006

Gotcha!

See? I’m a natural at this!

Okay, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m thinking of going into the spam business. The hardest thing for Internet peddlers of prescription drugs (“Free meds!”), diet formulas (”Lose 60 lbs. in 3 wks!”), and sundry scams to overcome is the laborious task of finding working e-mail addresses of professional adults with disposable income.

Problem solved!

You see, in the past three weeks I’ve gotten three e-mails that are a veritable gold mine for spammers. One was from a candidate, the other two from a Mildly Retarded Partisan.

Usually, campaign people who send out e-mails have the recipients hidden in the “bcc:” header of the e-mail.

Not these guys!

Thanks to them, I now have a long list of some of the most sought-after e-mail addresses in the state.

Hey look — it’s the blackberry address of one of the best-known government officials in Missouri!

Uh-oh — I bet taxpayers in that school district would be mad if they found out she was receiving explicitly partisan campaign updates at her publicly-funded work address!

Great googly moogly — isn’t that person — no, it can’t be — yes, it is! Aren’t they related to you-know-who? Wow!

So thanks for those mass e-mails, guys. Keep them coming, and make sure I can keep seeing all the recipients’ addresses.

Sure, there are probably people who come to your campaign events, sign up to help, and expect you to keep their data relatively private.

And yeah, there are people helping you who would rather not have the world — or at least their bosses — know that they are engaged in partisan politics.

But so what? You URGENTLY need people at your phone bank next Monday, and spammers like me need more people to harass!

(P.S. It’s called bcc, and it stands for “blind carbon copy.” Know it. Learn it. Use it.)

(P.P.S. You’re welcome.)

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Attention: Candidates who lost on Aug. 8

Thursday, August 17th, 2006

So here’s your dilemma: You’ve been lying low since election night, and you know you’re going to run into your political acquaintances soon. You want to give them a good excuse why you lost, but a week after the primary, all the best ones have been taken.

What to do?

Here are some excuses I guarantee no one has heard. Ever.

– “I know I said I would knock on every door in the district, but it was really hot this summer, and I’m pretty lazy.”

– “I put together a campaign plan and a budget because everybody said I had to, but I really had no intention of raising that kind of money.”

– “I knew I wasn’t going to win, but I was mad at (elected official/candidate/party faction) and I wanted to show them that they should have paid more attention to me.”

– “The differences between me and my opponent were clear, and the people chose my opponent’s views over mine.”

– “I realized a couple months out that I was probably going to lose, so I just stopped asking people for money and told people I was going to run a ‘grassroots campaign.’” (1)

– “My opponent just plain outworked me.”

– “I had no idea how much time and effort goes into a campaign like this, and I was in way over my head.”

– “I’m really not that interested in what a (office sought) does, but I like going to public forums and having people listen to me.”

– “My plan was to get a lot of (opposing party) voters to take a (my party) ballot, but the ones that told me they would were just being polite and wanted to end the conversation.” (2)

And finally, the most likely to be true:

– “Honestly, I had no business being in the race in the first place.”

(1) See II.

(2) The political boneyard is filled with candidates who thought they could fundamentally alter the makeup of their party’s primary voter base. It doesn’t happen.

(Note to John Loudon, Jack Jackson, and Mark Wright: After what happened, you don’t need to make up excuses, and I know each of you well enough to know that you’re not the type to do so. You should be proud of the support you received and the way you handled yourselves throughout the campaign.)

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Review: “Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?”

Wednesday, August 16th, 2006

Watch a preview clip of “Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?”

I walked into the Tivoli with high expectations, and I wasn’t disappointed.

Those of you in St. Louis know Jeff Smith from his campaign for Congress in 2004 against Russ Carnahan and some other people (1). More recently, Jeff won a five-way Democratic primary for state Senate (2).

In “Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?”, director Frank Popper seeks to portray Smith as the idealistic underdog, and the Birkenstock fits perfectly. Throughout the film, and through the use of both home movies and modern-day footage, we see Smith taking on battles he could never be expected to win: competing for ward endorsements against Carnahan, dialing for dollars against Russ’ mom, and playing basketball against black guys (3).

First, let me alleviate the concerns of my fellow conservatives skeptical of plunking down their after-tax cash to see this film. I know what you’re thinking, and don’t worry — the movie is long on nuts-and-bolts campaign strategy and short on liberal poppycock. Replace Jeff’s riff that “every child should have the right to see a doctor” with “stop having babies you can’t support” and the movie’s subject could have been a Republican.

The only bone I have to pick with the movie is that in his zeal to tell the perfect underdog tale, Popper oversells the naivete of Smith’s campaign staff. Early on, we’re given brief snippets of each key staffer’s thoughts along with a graphic depicting their name, age, and supposed lack of experience. In actuality, some of the staffers had extensive experience (Clay Haynes and Sam Simon worked for Dean’s presidential campaign.) But this is a minor quibble, and may very well be due to the fact that until this endeavor, Popper hadn’t been close enough to a campaign to know that staffers’ titles do not always match up with their real responsibilities.

The movie’s timing was fortuitous for Smith; I saw it the Saturday night before the election, and campaign volunteers were at the ready, handing out GOTV lit and answering questions about the candidate.

Let me be the first (4) to predict that this movie will attain cult status among the political crowd. When it’s released on DVD, it will join “The War Room” and “Primary Colors” as the movies that campaign volunteers and staff watch over and over as they prepare mailings and staple yard signs. Like the others, it has a number of “I’ve been there” moments that we can all relate to — hearing voters offer unsolicited, condescending suggestions; riding in a carful of staffers, each of whom is chatting on his own cell phone; and watching the people who should be coming out for you in a primary getting weak-kneed when you need them the most.

There are two bad guys in this movie: “the system” and Russ Carnahan.

We are reminded several times that in 2004, Missourians elected Matt Blunt, Lacy Clay, Jo Ann Emerson, and Russ Carnahan (5). The argument presented is that due to the present-day political system, each of these people was elected because of their last name. It would seem to follow, then, that those individuals are vapid figureheads. I don’t think that argument is entirely fair — I’ve never met anyone who says that Robin Carnahan or Jo Ann Emerson aren’t smart enough to be where they are today. But Popper’s conclusion is a reasonable one considering who won the movie’s featured race.

For Russ Carnahan, this movie is an 88-minute negative ad that will never stop playing. Even worse for Rusty, it’s targeted to what should be his base. A few of my Dem friends tell me that Carnahan has grown into his role in the last two years. While that may be evident to the people who work for him, how many people actually go to town hall meetings or press conferences and will see those improvements firsthand? Russ’ political operation must address the fact that an entire crop of the smartest, most energetic young Democrats view him as the stumbling, bumbling mama’s boy that took away their friend’s rightful spot in Congress.

For those of us who have never felt simpatico with the Carnys, this movie is almost therapeutic: You cannot help but root for Russ to finish a sentence without reading his notes. (And as much as I hate to dump on a WashU guy, it doesn’t seem that there’s much that Professor Mark Smith could teach Rusty in the way of communication skills.)

PEOPLE WHO WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE: Anyone who has ever worked in a campaign or run for office.

PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT LIKE THIS MOVIE: Anyone with the last name Carnahan.

Read the P-D review of “Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore?”

Due to demand, the run of the film has been extended.

(1) One of whom was a fellow WashU professor named Mark Smith.

(2) Yeah, yeah, I got that one wrong (page 5). But I got the other two right, and 67% gets you a diploma at a public school.

(3) His father, we are told, enrolled young Jeff in a black basketball league so he could play against “the very best.”

(4) Or at least the first Missouri Republican blogger.

(5) As a Republican friend pointed out, the movie leaves Robin Carnahan unscathed. Is that because a downballot race like Secretary of State was off the radar for Popper, or because Robin is considered the “smart Carnahan”?

(On a personal note, I was happy to see my man Clay Haynes get the recognition he deserves for his role as campaign manager. The film shows that Clay was cool as a cucumber when others seemed ready to wet their Underoos. Clay is currently Field Director for U.S. Senate candidate Harold Ford (D-TN). Any of you donkeys that want to get in touch with Clay can reach him at clayhaynes {at} gmail {dot} com.)

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